Archive:VOCJ54 Proof

Intro

Please look for any problems and list them in the category below (with name of article, page number, and the problem) so they can be fixed. They will be crossed off as they are fixed. If there's time, I'll send out another proof - likely Tuesday sometime.

The deadline to send this to the printer is Wednesday MORNING. If you can edit the second proof on Tuesday EVENING so Kelly can make final edits on Tuesday NIGHT, that would be most helpful.

Yet to finish (so don't mention it yet!)

• Colour photos at start of sections
• Some ads
• Exec pages

Suggestions of what to look for

Style Edits

• Long dashes should be used to separate phrases. Flag any short dashes.
• Double quotes are used to indicate conversation or colloquial speech; single quotes indicate definitions. Flag any inappropriate quotation marks.
• Distances are indicated by the number, a space, then the unit (i.e., 400 m, rather than 400m). Flag any un-spaced distances.
• Periods are followed by a single space. Flag any double spaces.
• People should be identified by their full names at least once during an article. Flag any anonymous people.

Grammar and Spelling Edits

• Look for run-on sentences and other grammar problems. Flag any you see.
• 'Prusik' is the proper spelling. Flag any wrong ones.

Photos

• Each photo should have rounded corners. Flag square corners.
• Each photo should have two captions indicating what is happening and who is involved (below), and the photographer (right). Flag any missing or bad captions.
• Photos should be reasonably 'legible'. Flag any bad photos that don't add to the story or the journal.
• Photos should have decent spacing to separate them from the surrounding text. Flag any photos that are too close to the article text.
• Locations should make sense. Flag any photos that are in a weird spot.

Spacing and font

• Every article should begin with a dropped letter. Flag articles missing a dropped letter at the start.
• Every article should end with a diamond character. Flag missing diamond characters.
• Some paragraphs have a dropped letter to break up the page a bit; these should be located at fairly natural spots (the start of a new thought, a new day, etc). Flag any unnatural dropped letters.
• Fonts should be consistent! There is a font for the body, a font for the title/subtitle/author, a font for captions, and a font for the photographer. Flag any wrong fonts.
• Empty pages! There shouldn't be any.
• Empty lines at the top of pages! There shouldn't be any.

Organization

• Are articles in the appropriate category?
• Are articles in a good order?

Table of Contents

• Every article, in order, correct page, correct title/author.

List errors, comments & suggestions here

List the page number, the article, and the error, under the appropriate section.

example: p.7, President's Message: Katherine's name is spelled 'Kathewilehtklhetkle.' It should be 'Katherine.'

General/Global

• The first page of each section shows just the title. To me (Gili) it feels like a bit of a waste of space in such a long journal. If this is to be changed (and it doesn't have to be), I see (at least) two options: 1. Make the section title and first article for that section on the same page (would that be too cluttered? confusing?). 2. Have something additional on the first section page: a photo (colour?) or perhaps a quotation? Just some ideas.
• If we were looking to save some space, one way to do it would be to make the space between the title and the text of each article smaller - it is rather large right now.
• Many (or all?!) of the photos appear fuzzy when zoomed in. Perhaps this is the same thing that happened last year? There was some box that needed to be checked, something like "Include photos in full resolution" or something of the sort (check with Kathrin).
  • All photos are full-res, linked, and good to go. I just uploaded the incredibly low-res pdf. The full version is ridiculously large and could not have been sent over email or uploaded to google docs. -k.
• Did u intentionally want the journal to not be justified?
  • ? What do you mean? -k.
  • The draft is left justified - all the lines of text "line up" on the left hand side. Often (always?) books (and the VOCJ in particular) are full justified.
  • Good catch! Didn't even cross my mind. Full-justified for the next version.
• Dropped letters in articles: Do these need flagging? They appear to be a section break, perhaps a space between those paragraphs should be added.
  • They are intended to show a bit of a section break without adding an extra space. If it looks bad then I can go back to extra spaces, but that will require quite a lot of rearranging so let's only do that if we really think it's necessary. More votes, anyone? -k.
  • I think they are good as-is, just wanted to check. - Alfred

Table of Contents and Starting Material

• p. 2 of pdf - (very minor) four lines from end: perhaps no period is needed in list of "Proofreaders and text editors", since there is no period for the other lists of people.
• p. 7 of pdf - Do we have a consistent choice of capitalization for titles in the TOC? In particular, shouldn't "385 - Dispatches from the Frontlines of Etiquette" have a capitalized "from" and shouldn't "395 - 25 Things the VOC has Taught Me" have a capitalized "has"? The rest look fine.
• p. 5 line 3 - "Ms. Manner's" - shouldn't this be "Ms. Manners'"? As in, "of Ms. Manners", after all, I think she is Ms. Manners and not Ms. Manner.
• p. 7 top: Jeff Taylor's photo seems darker than all the rest, it might be tough to see. This might be a pain in the ass to change...
• p. 7 middle and bottom: is it possible to move the job names (on the right of each photo) so that they do not run out of the photo frame? This is relevant for all three bottom photos, Lee, Brody and Fisal.
• Remove dates from titles in TOC and also in the articles themselves. It doesn't matter when exactly most trips happened. (Gili suggested this, but Veenstra disagrees strongly. Maybe from the TOC for style reasons, but having the date the trip happened is exceedingly useful if you're ever trying to use old VOCJs to help with trip planning, as I've done many times, or if any historian ever looks at the journal trying to work out historic weather patterns etc. It would be a real shame to remove such useful information because we don't like the formatting. Probably those 20 characters have the highest utility of any in the whole article. You could replace it with "3rd week in May" or something, but that probably looks even worse.) Gili: most articles don't have this information in the title, so it looks weird in the TOC, perhaps keep for the titles but not TOC.
  • Kept for titles, removed for TOC. -k.
• Is there a way to put a page number for the photo contest without it looking out of place compared to the format?
  • I'll play around with it. I agree, it would be good to have. Maybe a list of the winners in each category and their page numbers can go in the TOC under the heading? -k.

Hiking and Scrambling

• p 26 says: cooked and early dinner. --> cooked an early dinner
• p 30 says: a exposed mossy --> an exposed mossy
• p 30 says: quick few summit shots --> few quick summit shots
• p47-48 should not hyphenate Piotr's; it looks strange
• p 52 says: when we arrived to the --> when we arrived at the
• p 63 says: Line bumped had into --> Line had bumped into
• p. 63 How about condensing the four paragraphs coming after the first paragraph into one? The frequent paragraph breaks create a headache and don't add much, in my opinion (Gili).
• p. 71 top photo: possibly Tom --> Tom Curran, we seem to mostly (always?) put full names in photo captions.

Climbing and Mountaineering

• p97 --> there is a steep notch
• p110 the capital I at the beginning of the first new paragraph looks weird (to me - Gili). Perhaps a slightly bigger space on the right of it would help, I'm not sure.
• p114 says: if i had fallen--> if I had fallen
• p115 Is our policy to have full names in caption? If so, Artem -> Artem Bylinskii and in other photos in this same article.
• p 132, line 7: Ron -> Ron Koczaja, full name should appear on first mention.

Skiing and Winter Mountaineering

• p 143. four lines from bottom. Mistake in Spanish: when asking a question it should be "Por que escalas?" and not "Porque escalas" ("por que?" is "why?" and "porque" is because). In addition, there should be an accent on the last letter of the e in "que". If we want to be really correct, then there should also be an upside down question mark at the beginning of the question, as for all questions in Spanish.
• p 145. "On snowshoes and skate shoes was all that they had." - maybe add a dash after skate shoes? Or "[...]and skate shoes - t'was all that they had."
• p 145. perhaps add a footnote with the full names? Ignacio Rozada, Pascale Cometto, Evgeny Sorkin, and Murray Down.
• p 147, first bullet: 7 -> "seven"
• p 148, line 14. "our boots. We then"; current version needs full stop and space.
• p 148-149 - Could the footnote spanning both pages be located entirely on pg 148?
• p 149, line 11 - there are two periods instead of one.
• p 148 last line and p 149 last line: do we really need the underline here? They look out of place.
• p 160 Dark photo? at least so it appears to me.
• p 161 first line Dec -> December
• p 161 second line, (minor) the word "off" appears weird on my display, the two f's are touching. Can anything be done about this?
• p 162&168: Photo credit: Ran Zhang, with an H in Zhang.
• p 165, line 9 - remove 'would'.
• p 170, line 8 from the bottom - 'skinning' instead if 'skiing'?
• p 173, line 10 from the bottom - down 'to' the logging road, not 'at'.
• p 174, last sentence of article. How about "If Marcin hadn’t been able to walk, it would have been too late to be evacuated that day - we had been at least seven

hours away from cell phone reception." (?)

• p 176-177. Black Tusk and Cinder Cone via Helm Creek: Any way we could slightly reduce the font size of the poem in the middle so it fits on lines nicely?
• p 178 - end of para 2. Incomplete sentence.
• p 180, line 5 - change comma to '-'.
• p 180, line 6 - 1AM instead of 1am.
• p 182, remove comma(s) in first sentence of para.
• p 182, last para, repetition of 'run' in sentence. "[...] for a few more turns." (?)
• p 205, line 6. To be closer to the truth - "Piotr's entire binding was moving relative to his ski (something that ...)" Two out of the four screws had sheared completely. Beginning of next para: "the ski could not be fixed in a fashion worthy of its newness, we promptly opted to have an easy ski day"
• p 205, para 2, line 11 - 'tested' to 'test'
• p 206, line 10 - 'o' to 'of' or ' o' '
• p 206, line 18 - remove 'the' from highway 99
• p 206, line 24 - and 'that' he would drive them (?)
• p 207, line 12 - something strange about the spacing in " she'd "
• p 213, title - how about removing the "Of" at the beginning? It seems totally unnecessary to me (Gili). This would also affect the TOC and the footnote on page 216.

Land and Water

• p 325, line 6 - remove one of the "at"s.. (?)
• p 332. Is the font on this page 100% the same as elsewhere? Does the graphic need a black square around it? Piotr would (personally) prefer it without...
• p 336. No colon after "Renfrew and the West Coast Trail" tomatch other subtitles

Club Life and Reflections

• pg 393, missing Oxford comma, 4th paragraph, "Goretex, down sleeping bags, and light tents..."
• pg 396-397, items 10-17 - the rows below the first row for each item should be aligned (left justified) with the first row. This appears to be correct for the previous and next items, but not for items 10-17.
• pg 397, item 20 should have quotation after period after ski; item 25 has extra comma after year
• pg 398, item 1 has extra space between regular/irregular
• pg 398, item 4 heading is all capitals (is this intended?)
  • yes, this is what was submitted.
• pg 401, item 8 could be all italicized to match previous headings
• pg 403, 5 lines from bottom has an extra apostrophe after backs
• pg 404, bottom line looks like ', and should be ,'
• pg 407, bump Son of Rock heading to next page
• pg 408, mountaineering camp section, VOCers stood on all those peaks on Saturday not Sunday
• pg 409, bump Jared Stanley heading to next page
• pg 411, again CAC Fundraiser bump to next page (maybe fixed from above?)
• pg 413, 2nd line from bottom has beer capitalized